Money Hater

When I first started playing in the bigger limit hold’em games in Los Angeles and Las Vegas I was quite intimidated. I assumed that the players in these games were going to be very tough and extremely advanced and sophisticated, and I was worried that I was going to get torn apart. I would read all kinds of strategy advice from the supposed good posters at 2+2 that wouldn’t make any sense to me, and I rarely could find anyone who shared my viewpoint. I assumed I was the one idiot in the class who just didn’t get it. It was very frustrating. Then I met someone who thought about things pretty much like I did, but he was smart enough to realize that they were the idiots, not him. I was not so bright, and it stunted my advancement.

My friend would identify for me who the good players were, for I had never played in these games before and knew no one. I recognized some people from when I used to go to Vegas and play 15/30, but I had never played with them. I quickly learned that instead of good, my friend should have identified them as “not awful”. I recall early on I saw one of these “good” players call 4 bets cold preflop with 98s. When I saw him call, I wondered if he’d call with AKo here. Not ever did I think he could have 98s. Huh? Really? I’ve seen this guy around forever, and he is doing this? Wow.

The more I played the more of these situations I was presented with; people who were supposed to be good playing super bad. We began to discuss and laugh about it, and eventually made a list. The Retard List.

To be on the Retard List, you have to be headed for busto but yet be completely oblivious and think you actually are going to prosper in this business. Fish are not eligible to be on the retard list (in spite of how retarded they may be), because they aren’t pros. They’re just people who come in to play.

The first entry is April 2, 2008. “BurritoBoy.” He is so named because a few years ago at the Bellagio my friend played my chips for me while I went to the washroom, and this guy objected. I saw him again at Commerce a month later, but my buddy didn’t think it was him. We bet a burrito on it. I won. He’s not quite bust yet, but he is currently playing less than half the stakes he did 2 years ago. The trend appears to be downward.

Busting is a slow process. Many of these players are marginal winners so they can run hot at times and stave off the inevitable, but if you’re a $45/hr winner yet live a $100/hr life it’s gonna catch up to you.

Yesterday I saw one guy get all in. I have never, ever seen him without money. But he is on the retard list, and thus he is busting at some point. They all are, and it is starting to happen.