The Virgin of Guadalupe
Saturday, 28th March, 2009
A friend of mine will often send me text messages inquiring about the game. My response to her last night was,
“6 handed. Me, ST, UV, WX, some Mexican bald guy who has been playing a lot lately but is fucking horrible, and some tight Persian guy.”
“Wow. I am surprised at how slow it is there. How many chips does ST have in front of her?”
“11K”
“He might look Mexican, but he is Arabic I think. Big teeth and drinks green tea all the time?”
“I just called ST’s dumb ass down with AThh on a board of 75437r. She had the QJhh that she saw fit to 3bet from the SB and barrel away with mindlessly.”
“LOL. Good call, whiteboy.”
“Yeah, that’s him. He wears a ring with what looks like the Virgin of Guadalupe, which is a big Mexican thing. Plus, Mexicans like all that gay gold shit that he wears.”
I was never aware of the Virgin of Guadalupe until I read Ask a Mexican, a book that is a collection of columns written by a Mexican guy who simply answers questions that stupid white people have. Questions like “What is it about the word illegal that Mexicans don’t understand?” and “Why do Mexicans always park their cars on their front lawns?” and “Why are Mexicans always selling oranges on street corners? Is that like the national fruit of Mexico?” and “Why do none of the Mexicans in Louisville have jobs?”, the response to which was, “We take after Kentuckians.”
Needless to say, I absolutely loved this book, and from it learned about the Virgin of Guadalupe, whose image Mexicans plaster all over the place. The book itself was introduced to me by a gal who, upon learning what I did for a living, told me that she didn’t want to see me again because my job “freaked her out”. She was a waitress.